doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize