it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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