Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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