So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
