that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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