We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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