Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
