Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
