Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
