Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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