I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize