You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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