if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
