Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
