fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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