Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
