I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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