just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
