I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
