you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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