I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
