I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
