Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
