i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
