We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
