Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
soo... how was my night?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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