The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
