nut hugger
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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