We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
How naked do you want me to be?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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