Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
