remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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