ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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