If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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