After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Send help, water and tortillas.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
