READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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