Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
