Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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