waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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