MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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