ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
