your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
