You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
