some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
its liver damage thursday
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