Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
