How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
