i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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