1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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