at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
