therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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