I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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