She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
