Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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