I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
