I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
