I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I have already put on my inside pants.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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