Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
