So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
