Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
