Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
