Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
