Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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