so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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